Let Me Tell You How Great I Am
by Amelia Letter
Summary: Messing with the gods is fun-"Bah, all you're good at is stuffing cereal down people's throats. And oatmeal.""Excuse me! Cereal is very healthy!""What is it with you and cereal? Oh, Styx!"-especially when you're me. Oh, how I love my job...


**AN: Here is another one-shot for your fabulous reading minds! I got this idea from a friend of mine who said she loved the family rivalry between the gods. Her Pen Name is HolaitsCiara and she is a great writer (check out her stories)! The song finished the idea. I got it from a movie I was watching the night before called _I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry_. I hope you will all like it and thank you for Reading & Reviewing!**

**Disclaimer: All rights go to Rick Riordan and the person that wrote the song in my story. Nothing belongs to me except my creativity!**

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**Summer Solstice was beautiful. All the gods loved Summer Solstice. Even Hades, who was coming to all the Solstice and Equinox meetings now, loved Summer Solstice. Ever since the war the minor gods also attended the Solstice and Equinox meetings. They sat by the hearth with Hestia. However, no matter how peaceful and fantastic and loved Summer Solstice was, or any Solstice or Equinox for that matter, the gods were still the gods.

That meant they were still immature, dependant, and somewhat sinful beings. However, they were _all-powerful_ immature, dependant, and somewhat sinful beings. Now, all families get into fights and all families are _messy_. However, immortal families are _eternally_ fighting and are _eternally _messy. Of course, it helps that they only meet four times a year.

This particular fight started on the beautiful Summer Solstice I was previously talking about. Who am I? That's for me to know and for you to _never_ find out. Anyways, after every adjourned meeting, the gods stayed awhile to celebrate another successful meeting where none of the below happened:

a) Artemis maiming Apollo

b) Zeus and Hera bickering about Zeus' past 'relationships'

c) Poseidon calling Athena 'Bird Girl'

d) Athena calling Poseidon 'Kelp Head'

e) Aphrodite making the hearth explode with her extremely flammable perfume (oh, it happened)

f) Ares checking his reflection in any of his weapons

g) Hephaestus catching his clothes, shoes, or hair on fire

h) Hades scaring the other gods by using his Helm of Darkness to appear and disappear behind their thrones

i) Hermes flying around the Throne Room with his awesome flying converse shoes

j) Dionysus throwing grapes at random gods

k) Demeter forcing cereal down someone's throat

AND l) one of the minor gods falling asleep/leaving

Considering none of the above happened at the Summer Solstice in question, a celebration was held. Everyone was really minding their own business, doing what they do best. Aphrodite applying perfume on her throne, Hephaestus creating some new machine, Athena thinking, and the list goes on. Nobody knew where it came from, but an odd song filled the air of the Throne Room momentarily.

_I can do anything better than you!_

_No you can't!_

_Yes I can!_

_No you can't!_

Then it stopped. Everyone pondered. Where did this odd song come from? It was very theatrical, in all the gods' points of views. Some of the gods actually found some truth to it. Poseidon had a very interesting thought. He had a real-life analogy to go with the song that he thought suited it perfectly. The other gods were thinking about an analogy to represent them also, but it was Poseidon who spoke up first.

"It's kind of like me and you, Athena. After all, I _can_ do anything better than you," Poseidon said. Athena turned to him with a glare. Then, her face softened.

"Oh, Poseidon, you may think that, but you will never be able to fix your grammatical errors. Especially since I've been reminding you for a few millennia now. It's '_you and me_', not '_me and you_'," Athena countered. The gods were 'ooh'ing like immature teenagers.

"Now, now, children! No fighting!" Apollo, to everyone's surprise, said, trying to calm down the fight. "We all know the better example would be Artemis and I!"

"What do you mean by that brother?" Artemis asked menacingly.

"Well, I am obviously totally better than you at archery! No duh!" Apollo said.

"Well, at least I'm not some stupid, fiery, big ball of gas!" Artemis yelled. Some of the gods were laughing now.

"Hey, come on! The best example of all would include me. I mean, Hera, Athena, come on, your power and smarts are left in the dust by my beauty! Do remember who got the golden apple that time with that poor boy Paris," Aphrodite said.

"Yes, and because of your supposed 'beauty' there was the Trojan War which destroyed a whole city. Way to go. You are _so_ smart," Athena said sarcastically.

"What are you saying Aphrodite? That you are more beautiful than me?" Hera demanded.

"Now wait a second! I am very proud that you could all come up with such great examples, but the absolute best would be one with my brothers and me," Zeus said.

Freeze frame. Now that the Big Three were in this, it was about to get a little heated. However, I just thought I'd give you a better mental image. You could probably imagine an elegant throne room with rich people in rich clothes, but the actual truth was much bigger. Imagine that throne room being much more elegant with ten foot tall thrones and twenty foot tall Greek gods fighting over a foolish verse in a song. They had wine goblets as tall as your father in their hands filled with nectar, but what was actually quite funny about this was that they didn't even remember _why_ they were arguing. Now, sorry for this long intermission, back to the story we go.

"What do you mean, dear brother?" Hades asked.

"Well, let's look at it this way: I saved you from our father's stomach, I'm the _king_ of the gods, I could kill anyone with the flick of my wrist, and I am definitely more powerful than you! I could do _everything_ better than you!" Zeus exclaimed, a proud grin on his face.

"Come now, dear brother, don't exaggerate," Poseidon said, trying to dispose of his anger.

"Whatever do you mean my –" Zeus started, but was cut off by Hephaestus.

"Now, now, we don't want World War III happening here. Besides, it's thanks to me you all had such wonderful weapons in every war that we ever had," Hephaestus said.

"Yeah, and all those foolish machines that you couldn't even control," muttered Ares. "Talk about _fail_,"

"Speaking of failures, I sure wasn't the _war_ god that lost against a _twelve_ year-old," Hephaestus said.

"Why you little –" Ares started, but was interrupted by Demeter.

"Come now, you all have me to thank! You should be grateful I make all those beautiful plants grow! I supply food to the _whole world_!" Demeter said.

"Bah, all you're good at is stuffing cereal down people's throats. And oatmeal. Why did you invent oatmeal? It looks like puke," muttered Hades.

"Excuse me! Cereal is very healthy!" Demeter countered.

"He's right. What is it with you and cereal? You make me deliver a plethora of the stuff every day. I don't even actually deliver half of it," Hermes said. Demeter looked enraged.

"What?" She yelled.

"I mean, I deliver, like, half the stuff!" Hermes said. He paused. "Oh, Styx, that means the same thing!" All of a sudden, every god was yelling. The minor gods had left long ago, but nobody had noticed.

"Quiet!" Hestia yelled. Everyone looked over at her in surprise. She rarely spoke, and when she did she spoke very quietly. It was a shock to hear such a loud and demanding voice from her.

"Lady Hestia?" Hades asked.

"You are all so foolish! A simple verse from a foolish mortal song rings in the air and you all were about to start a World War over it!" Hestia yelled.

"What song?" Ares asked. Athena looked up.

"Of course! Do you not remember? Those lines that rung out in the Throne Room at the end of our meeting," probed Athena. After a few seconds, the gods realized what she was trying to say and broke out into a scattered chant of 'oh, yeah's.

"Well, who did it? You know, played the song?" Aphrodite asked. Athena's eyes lit up.

"Of course! How had I not seen it?" The gods looked at her in confusion. Athena cupped her hands around her mouth and called out to somebody. "Nemesis!"

Oh Styx. I better run.


End file.
